Friendship and Gastroparesis...Is It Awkward For You?

I'm sure having someone in your life that has Gastroparesis is not easy to see. Trust me, being the person with Gastroparesis is not easy to live with! I'm sure that it's awkward not knowing whether the person is capable or up to doing certain activities, whether saying certain jokes around them will be offensive, witnessing them getting ill and not knowing what to do is scary...I get it, trust me! Maybe it's awkward for some people to be around someone who spontaneously spews their food, has a metal appliance surgically implanted in their tummy that they've named Alfred, can't eat anything much more than a kindergartner would eat—hey, it makes me a cheap date!—or constantly feels seasick, I get it, I really do.

What I'm going to tell you is this:: It's okay.

It's alright to have questions.

It's alright to be nervous or apprehensive.

It's alright to not know what to do.

All you have to do is ask! Ask what it's like to live with Gastroparesis and how I manage things. Ask what you can do for me should you be with me and I'm having a flare—bring me water. Ask what I feel like doing—hiking, bowling, walks, PICTURES!!! What I feel like eating—CHOCOLATE!! Text me or call me and just ask me how I'm doing. You would be surprised how meaningful a simple text can be to someone, even if it's in the middle of the night and I don't get it until morning. It shows that you're thinking of me.

Let me know now, while I'm in a “simple” flare, if it's too much for you and you're going to hit the road before things get worse. I don't want to count on you and then have my heart broken because you didn't show up when I thought you would—it's happened to me and it's happened to others, it stinks. Let me know if I'm using too much medical terminology and just need to use simple terms or just not talk about it at all. Or, very plainly, just tell me what makes you feel awkward—I'd like to think of myself as Wonder Woman, but I can't read your mind...I'll work on it!

At the end of the day, just love me like you would love someone who doesn't have Gastroparesis. Have understanding and compassion that, sometimes, it's just not going to happen for me. Sometimes, you, me, the couch, and the TV might have to make a day of it. Hug me, tight sometimes, like you would any other friend that you have.

[Thank you to Undiagnosable_ on Instagram for her contribution to suggestions on ways to be a friend with a person with Gastroparesis]