The Weight-ing Game

Before I became ill with Gastroparesis I weighed 289lbs. I was fat, but I was FAB-U-LOUS! I knew that I needed to lose weight, I figured that my weight issues bothered other people—because MY weight problem is always the problem for ANOTHER person, you know. However, my philosophy on that was: there are 359 other degrees for you to look if my fat behind bothers you! Now that I am living with Gastroparesis, I have to watch my weight for a whole different reason. In just two days I can drop five pounds—some girls are probably cheering for that one—and that is SO not healthy for me (or anyone!).

Due to the symptoms I experience—nausea, vomiting, early satiety, lack of appetite—eating is a struggle for me, thus comes the weight loss. I find myself struggling to eat most days and then there are those rare, but beautiful days, where I want to eat everything I see (and pay for it later). In either case, I have to remind myself to eat KNOWING that I have this disease. Eat knowing that I have to keep my body going. Eat knowing that I can't really drop weight or I'll have doctors “screaming” at me (they don't actually scream, they just politely, yet firmly tell me not to lose any more weight). Eat to keep my blood pressure up. Eat to keep my dwindling energy level going.

So, what does one do? I don't have an honest answer...

I don't know that ANY Gastroparetic can really tell you that there's a right way to eat for this disease. You have to find the way that works for you. This disease is SO complex and SO understudied, we're grappling along with it just as much as the doctors are. One minute you're being told to follow the Diabetic Diet and then the next minute that's being yanked and you're being told to do something else...it's all just so...confusing! And it's scary at times because at every turn you have suggestions and cure-alls and voodoo magic and holistic oils being shoved in your face and it's just overwhelming!

Don't give up..!

I am willing to try and am still looking into things to keep my nutrition going. I think starting out a Chubby Bunny is what has saved me in the long run. I wasn't ashamed then for being fat and I'm not ashamed to look back and know that I was because I think that's what has saved me.

Currently I use Juice Plus as a main source of nutrition—particularly when I am not feeling the best—as well as putting fruit into the NutriBullet and making a smoothie. My doctors hound me about eating “chew food”, so I make sure that I eat “chew food” too, but I don't have that much interest in it, to be completely honest. A lot of the time I only eat to make my parents and friends happy. “Chew Food” (as in solid food) hurts my stomach, so I stick to soft food when I eat it...soups, rice, mashed potatoes, etc.

Don't EVER take food for granted. Don't EVER take your body and its ability to do its natural functions for granted either. I look back on my life pre-Gastroparesis and I just think about how easy I had it, so little worry. Now, it's not that simple. I don't stress myself out about stuff, but I have to be mindful.