I Love Photography...I Miss Photography

Josh Head of Emery

I have always liked doing concert photography. That has always been one of my passions. I was That Girl, that would show up to a show obscenely early in order to be in the front row, that would wait through the lesser known bands for several hours—and a TON of sun—to get to the headliners. I wouldn't leave my spot to get food or go to the bathroom because I was front row center. I would travel hours across states to go to festivals to see my favorite bands. Again, muscling my way to the front with my camera in order to get some good shots. Not because I was shooting for anything or anyone specific, but because it was something that I enjoyed doing.

I don't know how many times I've been body-slammed, stepped on, kicked, grabbed, and strangled by microphone wires because of being in the front row trying to get that “money shot”. I would headbang, mosh, and scream right along with the band and the other fans, not because I was trying to fit in, but because I

Andrew Schwab of Project 86

 was having just as much fun as they were. I was no Belieber, I was a metalhead, an emo/screamo listener, lover of nu-metal...in short: I like the LOUD stuff! You don't listen to bands like P.O.D, Project 86, Emery, Demon Hunter, and Love & Death and have the volume on 5...you crank that baby up! I knew I was always guaranteed to have pictures filled with wild hair, beautiful tattoos, sweet guitars, and wild stage antics. I never knew what I was going to get, but I knew it was going to be amazing!

And then Gastroparesis happened.

Noah Henson of Pillar

I remember the first music festival that I went to after getting sick in 2010. I hadn't been diagnosed yet, I was wheelchair-bound, unable to eat or drink much of anything, and vomiting up pretty much everything. I was miserable. But I have been going to Spirit West Coast since 1997 and my favorite band, Pillar, was going to be there and I wasn't going to let being abhorrently ill prevent me from seeing them. Sure, I couldn't walk, I could barely stand, my vision was sketchy...in short, I was a mess. I got my wheelchair up to the front of the mosh pit and I stood up and, camera in hand, rocked out taking pictures through half of the show...and then I couldn't take it anymore. But I got some pretty sweet shots! That's all that really mattered to me. I wanted to get myself that perfect shot and make sure that I was up front for one last Pillar show.

Brian "Head" Welch

A few months and a couple of diagnosis later, I attended a Red, Disciple, and Brian “Head” Welch (Now his band is called Love & Death) show. Again, I was as close as I could get, this time with a cane, and my camera in hand. I had such a good time. But, just like the time at Spirit West Coast just months before, I pooped out very quickly. Instead of being able to stand the entire show like I used to, taking shots in quick succession, it had turned more into a few snaps and then sitting. Not eating will do that to a person. But, like before, at least I got some good shots and walked away having seen (and met) my favorite member of Korn in his new band.

Since the arrival of Gastroparesis into my life I have not attended an actual stand-alone concert, I have only attended a couple of music festivals, and that has been hard for me. For someone that used to go to concerts CONSTANTLY, not having been to one in ages, is a bit heart wrenching. I have not picked up an actual

Soul Glo Activator of Family Force Five

camera in...I cannot tell you how long. I used to do photoshoots for people on occasion and I LOVED it, but that's hard for me, as well. I tire easily from picking the camera up and putting it up to my eye, getting up and down from the ground, and the simple act of catching shots or thinking up shots is taxing. So, unless a client can understand that, then I'm out of luck.

I'll admit, it's hard not to dwell on the things that Gastroparesis has taken away from me. But when you look back on the things that you used to do and realize that you just cannot do them anymore, it's hard not to become melancholy. I guess you jut have to learn how to adapt and make a new way for yourself. In a sense, photography hasn't been COMPLETELY taken from me...I still have my iPhone! Take THAT Gastroparesis!

The Sunrise using my iPhone