A Reflection On My Gastroparesis Diagnosis

Looking back to 2010, I can't believe that 6 years of my life have already gone by living with, not only Gastroparesis, but getting diagnosed with chronic vertigo and migraines in the same year, peripheral neuropathy in 2013, postural orthostatic tachycardia syndrome at the beginning of 2015 and fibromyalgia at the end. It feels as though any time my feet lead me over the threshold of a doctor's office I'm given yet another diagnosis or, at the very least, the prospect of yet another one coming down the line. 

(April 2010--Doctors still didn't know what was wrong with me)

I was just barely turning 30 years old when I became ill out of the clear blue sky. My life as I knew it, working with learning handicapped children by day  and interpreting for the Deaf by night came to a screeching halt and the couch and my body became one. Nurses, doctors, and specialists didn't know what to make of my triad of symptoms that happened all at once--vertigo, migraines, and vomiting. Try as they might to connect one to the other, they just WEREN'T connected. Test after test brought no answers until, finally, I was given a gastric emptying test...It gave everyone the answer::

Gastroparesis. 

Even though my life had been changed for six months prior to that, it seemed permanently sealed now that I had a name attached to what was going on. 

Gastroparesis. 

There's permanency in knowing what your disease is called. There's no turning back. There's no take backs. There's no do overs. It's only moving forward. But that doesn't mean there's a solution. And there hasn't been for me, it's just been the addition of more conditions that, as best the doctors can tell, are as a result of Gastroparesis. 

(September 2010--I had finally been diagnosed with Gastroparesis but was doing no better in terms of treatment being offered)

It would be easy to slip into Permanent Pity Party mode because of the events of the last 6 years. Trust me, a good cry and whine session happens every once and a while and then I go about my business. But taking up permanent residence in self-pity, self-loathing, or anger at others does not improve the situation. I find that a good sense of humor has helped get me through quite well. 

Luckily, after a time I was able to return to my day job, though no medication or therapy was helping my Gastroparesis. Different solutions have been tried, including the gastric neurostimulator--which recently failed, but I've been able to fight my way back to some kind of normalcy as much as possible each time. 

Hold out hope even when there doesn't feel like there is any. Even when the doctors don't know what to do for you and friends and family don't know what to say. Hold out hope that maybe, just maybe, tomorrow you could turn the corner and it'll be a better day. 

(April 2015-Loving with the gastric neurostimulator for over a year and having been diagnosed with POTS and peripheral neuropathy)

The Article I Wish I Had Read When First Diagnosed With Gastroparesis

Like any person newly diagnosed with a disease, back in 2010 I instantly headed to the computer looking for answers. What I was met with was a lot of clinical and sterilized papers written by the world of academia. I found them to be cold and written with no thought of the patient who might be seeking out, not only answers specific to what Gastroparesis is, but what life is going to be like living with it. 

The article I WOULD like to have read would have gone something like this:

Gastroparesis, also known as delayed gastric emptying, is not an easy disease to live with. Every waking, and sometimes sleeping, moment the patient is going to feel the WORST kind of nausea they have felt in their entire life and it will never really and truly go away. Doctors will give them anti-nausea medications (zofran and phenergan), but their assistance is so short lived that the Gastroparetic patient often wonders why they were even given it in the first place.

The newly diagnosed patient needs to keep in mind that, though doctors have gone through extensive training, they're not the Fount of Knowledge. The patient will come to realize that doctors don't know everything, particularly when it comes to Gastroparesis, and they will encounter many frustrations when it comes to their physicians. Advocacy for themselves, research of the disease, and asking for second or third or fourth opinions will help in finding the Gastroparetic patient the help they need. 

Most, but not all, Gastroparesis patients vomit everything or nearly-everything up that they eat. This causes the Gastroparetic individual to suffer from periods of dehydration, malnourishment, and exhaustion. The Gastroparesis sufferer also experiences early satiety, the feeling of fullness after just a few bites of food. They may go out to lunch or dinner with their  friends and family and watch as they scarf down heaping piles of food as they push food around on their plate--or in a bowl--because they're already full three bites into the dish. 

Unfortunately there's a great deal of pain associated with Gastroparesis. It often feels as though there's an elephant sitting squarely on the patient's belly and they can't get it to move. Then there's the frequent trapped gas bubbles that makes one feel as though they're having a heart attack. They need to rest assured that they are not, it's just gas stuck in their GI track. 

Gastroparesis sufferers struggle a lot in their private lives because of the general nature of the illness. Friends and family do not understand what a Gastroparetic goes through on a daily basis just to survive, the unbearable fatigue that accompanies it, and the inevitable secondary disease(s)--it's sad, but true--that eventually pop up. The loss of friendships and family members is unavoidable in most circumstances and the patient feels left to fight this battle alone or to seek out others that are fighting the same one. 

In the end, whether friendships are lost or gained, whether doctors understand or not, the Gastroparesis patient needs to learn to become their own best advocate. From this battle, the patient will learn that they are stronger then they ever thought and will find within themselves a warrior that they never knew that they possessed. 

Being armed with information about what life with Gastroparesis will be like realistically would have been far more beneficial than clinical, textbook facts. Realizing that doctors aren't as knowledgeable about things as one thinks is one more weapon in a patient's arsenal. Preparedness in every manner possible will help someone navigate the tumultuous waters of Gastroparesis. 

My March Madness

Spending ten days in the hospital is rough...on anyone. You get ZERO sleep because taking your vitals at 12am is of great importance, for some reason. And drawing blood at the crack of dawn is of great importance too. Not to mention the beeping, the buzzing, the patients screaming, and the random medications that get administered at all hours of the day and night. I lucked out in that I got an isolation room, so it was pretty air tight and quiet...mostly. Still not much sleep though. 

I landed in there because my Gastroparesis--and apparently IBS--were out of control. I had been vomiting for 16 DAYS straight and I just could not keep anything...ANYTHING...down. Initially I was in there "for observation" but then it turned in to something so much more. 

The Internal Medicine doctor that saw me that first morning (I was admitted at 12:30 am on Wednesday March 2nd) admitted that he knew nothing of my condition and would defer to GI that would see me later in the day, but he thought I would be going home. I had not eaten the food brought to me that morning, didn't eat that afternoon, and by evening didn't eat either. When GI came, he thought I needed an NG tube and wanted to do tests for auto immune diseases. 

The next morning I turned away food and was visited again by the same Internal Med doctor who thought the NG tube would not help, but said "but your condition is above my scope of knowledge." My thought...then don't give me your opinion on it. A couple of hours later the NG tube was placed. It took three tries to get it in. The first try resulted in a big wad of it coming out of my mouth. The second try resulted in it just hitting the back of my nose. The third try was a success. 

It was slow going at first, but eventually it began sucking stuff from my stomach. It's an odd feeling, to be honest, but the relief you get from it is better. The nurse I had said that the amount of stuff coming out wasn't the problem, but the color. It was an off-putting hue--I'll leave it at that. 

Fast forward a day and a new GI came in and he looked at new x-rays that had been taken of my belly. Potassium pills were just sitting in my stomach like two BFFs. He said I was "FOS" and had a big gas pocket in my stomach. Based on that and my other issues (POTS, migraines, peripheral neuropathy, vertigo) he thought I was having a complete neurological breakdown and needed to have TPN and go to UCLA for better help. 

The next morning I woke up, my nose leaking puss. I buzzed my favorite nurse, Lesly and said "Uh, I think we have a problem!" 

She goes "Oh. My. Gosh!" Runs and pages the doctor over and over. I was having a severe allergic reaction to the bandage holding the NG tube in. By the time he finally came we had to take it off because it was peeling off from puss leakage. 

The doctor decided to put me on iv Benadryl and ointment on my nose due to the reaction. And NO MORE TAPE!! 

About an hour later the CNA comes to take my vitals and it hurt. I look down and my left elbow is swollen. Two days before they had started another IV in my right arm because my left arm was swelling; however, the vein was too small so they kept the left arm open for medications like phenergan and potassium. Seemed like the vein was going, so I called Lesly. Again she says "Oh. My. Gosh!" And takes out the IV. 

Finally they decided to put a PICC (Peripherally Inserted Central Cathiter) line in and give me TPN. When you're on TPN you can't have anything other than ice chips and sips of water, so I was on the yellow bag and ice diet for 4-5 days. 

Then along came the THIRD GI and she thought this whole episode was IBS gone wrong. I had to have GoLitely pushed down my NG tube to clean out my bowels. I will say this:: if you HAVE to have that devil drink, having it through the NG tube it the way to do it. But I spent the evening and night shivering, crying, and in pain. She also gave me some shot that was supposed to make my bowels move--it didn't--and then she decided to try and get me to eat, so it was Apple juice down the NG and then Boost--that was HORRIBLE. But I ultimately was able to get the NG out, food down, the PICC out and then home. 

The directions I got going home were to consume 3-4 Ensure or Boost because it would put me close to 1,000 calories a day. If I could get in some soup too, great. I've been struggling to get in much of anything more than 1-2 Boost or Ensure and a little soup. I've lost more weight (I went into the hospital weighing 165 and now weigh 159) and have trouble with nearly passing out. But I'm trying to stay positive. 

My referral to UCLA went through, but I won't be seen until November. We're hoping that they'll get me in sooner due to the complexity of my condition, but who knows. I'm sure that's how most people feel about their conditions. On the upside, my nose is normal again!

(The progression of my nose. Top left is bandage on [duh]. Top right is when I realized I was reacting to it. Middle left is right after getting the bandage off. Middle right is a couple of days later. Bottom left is 3 days before I went home. Bottom right is the day I went home.)

Make Valentine's Day Green

Valentine's Day is normally all dressed up in PINK hearts and RED kisses for those in your life that you love. You go to the store and buy a sweet card and some pretty RED roses and maybe get some yummy chocolates and then head out to dinner. But what about the person who can't exactly participate in a normal meal? What if that person is restricted by the confines of Gastroparesis?

Maybe this year you can do something special and make Valentine's Day GREEN!!

Green is one of the awareness colors--if not the color--for Gastroparesis and by changing everything that is typically red and pink about Valentine's Day for the person that has Gastroparesis in your life, you are showing them support. And that is SO much more meaningful than a box of chocolates--but maybe not as yummy (haha)! 

I would like to challenge everyone to wear something GREEN on Valentine's Day. It doesn't have to be an entire outfit--don't want to look like Kermit the Frog--but a shirt, sweater, or a scarf and then make a sign that says something to the effect of::

I hope that as many people in as many countries as possible will take part in this movement. As a person battling this disease, we NEED to find a cure...NOW. 

GoGreenForGastroparesisAwarenessMonth

My name is Christine and I have Gastroparesis. Gastroparesis, literally, means "paralyzed stomach". Eating food is difficult for me, but is impossible for others who have this disease. Eating just a couple of bites of food, and sometimes sips of a drink, leaves me full. Many times I end up throwing up after eating because the food just sits, stagnant, in my stomach. I have lost over 100lbs. as a result of Gastroparesis, endured countless tests and doctors visits, many visits to the ER and urgent care, and tried innumerable medications in an attempt to dampen the symptoms of this disease. I have even had a gastric neurostimulator (a pacemaker) placed into my stomach, but it has all been to no avail. 

I am trying to spread awareness during the month of August, Gastroparesis Awareness Month, using the hashtags #GoGreenForGastroparesisAwarenessMonth and #GoGreenForChristine. 

Will you #GoGreenForGastroparesisAwarenessMonth during the month of August? Will you wear something green at least ONCE during the month to show support for this little-known disease and post it to social media? Would you be willing to post an infographic to one of your social media pages (because you know you have Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, etc) to spread awareness? It doesn't take but a couple of minutes of your time to help spread awareness about this disease, to let people know that there are people out there who suffer with invisible illness(es) everyday. 

There are MANY ways to #GoGreenForGastroparesisAwarenessMonth and #GoGreenForChristine

1. Wear something green and post a picture to Facebook, Instagram, or Twitter using the hashtags mentioned. 

2. Make a sign saying you support someone with Gastroparesis and use the hashtags (be creative!)

3. Find an infographic and post it to social media and use the hashtags

4. Donate to a reputable charity (such as G-Pact.org)

5. Share links to blogs discussing life with Gastroparesis (such as mygastroparesisjourney.blogspot.com and emilysstomach.com)

6. Anything creative you can come up with!!

The point is getting the WORD and AWARENESS out there and #GoGreenForGastroparesisAwarenessMonth!

Gastroparesis Awareness Month--Paint the Town Green

Nowadays there seems to be an awareness day or month for just about anything. Some of them are a little ridiculous...National Donut Day...but August (which begins Saturday) marks the beginning of Gastroparesis Awareness Month. 

There won't be any walks to raise money or awareness. 

There won't be stores sporting plexiglass boxes asking for your spare change. 

There won't be telethons on television asking you to call in pledging money. 

It's just going to be me, possibly other random people (you never know) asking that you wear green in remembers of someone you know or they know that lives every day with Gastroparesis. We'll ask you, maybe more than you would care for us to do, to post on your social media pages about Gastroparesis and what you know about it. To share links to organizations like G-Pact.org where information can be found, donations can be made, and a little more understanding can be discovered. We'll ask you to link to blogs such as this one [enter cheese-face here] where people can learn what it's like to live with a disease such as Gastroparesis and other Chronic Illnesses. Statistics may be thrown in your face more than you care to see and you may be annoyed or shocked by what  you read. 

All I ask from ANYONE that encounters the ensuing Gastroparesis spam over the month of August is to consider it with respect as you would Cancer Awareness, Multiple Sclerosis Awareness, and the like. 

As a kick off for Gastroparesis Awareness month on Saturday, it would be awesome if people would wear green and post it to social media with the hashtags #GastroparesisAwarenessMonth #GoingGreenForChristine in support of the fight that I (and MANY others) have every day with Gastroparesis so that I can find you! I hope you'll participate!! 

Gastric Emptying Studies, Endoscopies, Bloodwork, and Medicines...Ohmy!

Today was an exceedingly LONG day seeing the new Gastroenterologist (and the resident) today all in the hopes of, or the end game of, getting started on Domperidone again. 

Yeah, about that...

I first spoke with the resident for about fifteen minutes giving her the lowdown on Life with Gastroparesis. How do you condense 5 1/2 years of UGH into a short visit? It's hard to do! She looked me over and then went and got Dr. Lim. 

When he came in we kind of, even MORE briefly, went over my history and what I've been experiencing on a day-to-day basis...nausea...lack of appetite...vomiting...constipation...pain...He then examined me and said that, before even getting CLOSE to Domperidoen, the FDA stipulates that I have to have, not only a Gastric Emptying Study (GES), but an Endoscopy as well. 

RAWR!!

He mentioned that, since I've had the Botox therapy in the past (once, five years ago), there have been cases of people having scarring from it and causing the stomach (in assuming maybe the pylorus, but maybe I'm wrong) to close up, so then it'll need to be stretched. That may be a possibility with me. I'm sure it's also to check to make sure there aren't any ulcers or other things going on. 

The GES is a GES...I hate doing them because you have to eat so much food and lay around with a GIGANTIC bellyache. 

Dr. Lim also had me do bloodwork to check for diabetes, as Gastroparesis is commonly thought a diabetic issue. He also checked for any thyroid problems. He wants to rule out anything that might be causing my gastroparesis and constipation/IBS and treat that as opposed to just putting me on Domperidone right away. 

I appreciate his thoroughness and his kindness. I'm just done with doctors and told the resident as much. It's nothing against them specifically, it's just the situation as a whole. When you go to the doctor almost as much as you go anywhere else and then you feel like you get little to no answers, little to no help, grief for asking questions, you just don't want to see any more scrubs or white coats. 

I'm hoping for some answers from this, particularly since I have to do an Emdoscopy...again. I hate those things. 

Things I Wish People WOULD Say To Me

Having a Chronic Illness is really, quite possibly, one of the most awkward things to enter your life. Akin to a "Kick Me" sign on your back or a big booger hanging from your nose that nobody bothers telling you about, it's just socially something many people do not know how to handle. "What if I say the wrong thing?" Is something that I'm sure runs through the minds of many peoples' minds--or maybe not, based on the strange, random, and rude things I've been asked, told, and suggested; but I digress. 

Often times people with Chronic Illnesses dwell or warn againt the negative, "DON'T say/do thus and so..." but then we never bother to give you the other side of the coin and tell you things we wish people WOULD say or do for us. And, I think, it's because we so often dwell on the DONT

and "I rather you didn'ts" that so many of our friends are scared away. 

Come back, dear friends, because here is (my personal), list of::

A FEW THINGS I WISH PEOPLE WOULD DO::

1. Ask how my health is, not how are you but how is your health? And then listen with intent and purpose. So many times it feels as if, when asked by friends, we aren't being listened to because we are reporting much the same thing to you (nausea, fatigue, vomiting, doctors visits, etc) but that is the mundane routine of our lives a lot of the time. We know and understand that you want us to be better, 

WE want to be better, but, for the majority us, it's not going to be mediconed, protein shaked, deep tissue massaged, or surgery-ed away, it's just...life. 

2. I wore [insert color here] in support of you and your disease and posted it on social media today because I know your disease is rare. I know that this might seem trivial, but it's not! It means that you're thinking about me, you're thinking about the cause at large, and you're thinking about getting the word out there. Every little bit helps, right?!

3. Would you like ME to come visit YOU? I live in the middle of nowhere. I know this. I've lived here since the dawn of time. Nobody wants to drive here, but somehow the distance becomes shorter when I have to drive to someone else. It would be awesome to have a person come and visit me, knowing that merely getting ready makes me tired (I don't know that I've ever said that out loud before). 

4. I looked up [insert disease(s) here] to hopefully better understand. The willingness of a friend to take the time to look up another's disease(s) to try and better understand what they're going through means a lot. You can only learn so much can through the Internet, but it still shows a willingness to learn and not just ASSUME things. 

5. I was thinking of your recently, so I dropped a card in the mail, actual snail mail, so you should be getting it soon. Receiving a card in the mail, just because, is so awesome! Particularly for someone who is Chronically Ill. Getting that little pick-me-up at random can get us through a hard time better than any medication can (trust me, you'd be surprised). It shows that someone in the Outisde World is thinking of you. When you're so often sick, you start living in a bubble and it's all routine and humdrum, so a card can do wonders. 

I hope this list, in no particular order, sheds a little light onto what makes someone who is Chronically Ill smile. Being listened to, being supported, being visited, and randomly surprised (at least for this chick)...and chocolate never hurt anybody either!!!

The Donut Mistake

Well, I did it, I ate a donut like any normal person would for Teacher's Appreciation Week/Day would...except, I'm not any normal person. I keep forgetting that. You would think that, after having Gastroparesis for five years and having countless tests and procedures, being poked and prodded countless number of times, diagnosed and misdiagnosed and diagnosed again, that I would remember "Hey, eating that chocolatey, doughy round thing is going to send you into a tailspin of despair for X amount of time." 

Nope! I ate that sucker anyway. And I ENJOYED it!

Since eating said donut I have been in a gastroparetic flare for a week. I have had such a difficult time consuming liquids, let alone food. My stomach has been painful to the touch, movement, and just sitting there. I have requested from family and friends alike for an -ectomy of my whole trunk, but they won't oblige--so rude. A pox be upon you donut world, this is your fault!!

...ok, maybe it's more MY fault for giving in to temptation, but I was frustrated that day and chocolatey goodness is my weakness...

Here's the thing with Gastroparesis:: there are varying degrees of it. There are certain things that I can eat that Sally can't. There are certain things that Sally can eat, that I can't. There are certain things that NEITHER of us can/should eat.  Therefore, Sally might be able to handle bread products; whereas (CLEARLY) I cannot. So, if you see me reaching for that chocolate donut again in a moment of weakness, slap me...HARD! 

I attempted onion rings today. That was a big mistake as well. Again, if you see me reaching for those friend rings of yumminess, slap my hand and scream "NO!" It'll only benefit me in the long run. Like the donut, the onion rings are not sitting well and I'm feeling quite sick. Maybe the disease is progressing more? Maybe I'm finding I have more intolerances? Maybe they've always been there and I've just turned a blind eye, who knows. Just remember to tell me "NO, Christine!" when you see me reaching for those kinds of things. 

Triggering foods stink! They make you feel miserable, they make your friends feel miserable for you, they make life in general miserable, so it's best to just avoid them. 

Goodbye, donuts. 

Age and Chronic Illness

Chronic illness hit me like a tons of bricks just as I was turning 30...literally. It was within days of my 30^th birthday that the migraines, vertigo, and the symptoms of

Gastroparesis hit. Most people that I speak to say “you're awfully young to be experiencing all of these health problems”. I would have to say that I wholeheartedly agree with them; however, I would agree with them whether I was 20 years old or 65 years old! There is no “perfect age” to be saddled with a chronic illness.

There is this thought amongst the majority of people—and that's conjecture on my part—that chronic illness, particularly serious ones, are things that are supposed to only happen to the elderly. It's almost like Chronic Illness is like getting your license, like a morbid milestone of life. It's one that I will GLADLY pass up. Senior citizens have lived long lives, they've experienced things; therefore, the natural progression is then to have illness to occur. It sounds horribly morbid, but, I think that's how most people think life is SUPPOSED to work, whether we say it out loud or not. Sadly, Chronic Illness has no prescribed age that it begins with.

It is estimated that 133 million Americans has a chronic illness, sixty percent of which are between the ages of 18 and 64. These are not including people with cancer, mental illness, or diabetes. My particular disease, Gastroparesis, has an average onset of 34 years of age—though it can occur at any age. I also suffer from chronic migraines. Migraines are usually experienced, originally, in adolescence first and then carried on into adult life; and women have a greater risk of experiencing migraines than men.

Chronic illness has no age discrimination...

Chronic illness will touch your life when it wants to. It pays no mind to your age, to your plans for your life, or how much you will it to go away; it just comes in like a thief and alters your thoughts about everything. It rearranges your thoughts about yourself (you're stronger than you realize, trust me), your thoughts about your friends, your thoughts about your future, the healthcare system, everything! There will be times when you become overwhelmed and want to give up, but you can't! There will be times when you become frustrated with your doctors and the healthcare system and want to throw in the towel, but you can't! There will be MANY times that you hear—well intentioned, but ignorant—statements from friends and family that make you want to scream, but you have to just soldier on.

Advocacy is key in the case of Invisible Chronic Illness(es). Help people understand what it's like living in your shoes...take away the mystic...the stigma...help give your illness a voice! The younger generation can use their tech savvy-ness to their advantage and spread awareness for the disease(s) that they have. Instead of being “whoa as me” turn it into “support me”! Turn peoples' pity into a sense of pride in all that you've accomplished despite not feeling well!

Chronic Illness and Suicide...It's NOT the Answer!

It seems that suicide has touched the fringes of my life a lot recently. And by the fringes, I mean, The Fringes. It's been friends of my friends, friends of my friends through the Internet. Always people I don't know directly. But it still effects me and I still have this innate desire in me for wanting to help those TRULY effected, to cope with the passing of their friend. But it's difficult. 

I know that it's not uncommon for suicide to enter into the Chronic Illness Community. According to The Truth About Suicides, 10% of suicides that occur in Britain are a result of having a chronic illness. 

( http://gu.com/p/3xcmx/sbl) We are in tremendous amounts of physical pain, we experience mental illness, there are various physical struggles that we experience:: chronic vomiting, chronic nausea, fatigue, joint dislocations, fainting spells, dizziness, and the list goes on. Add onto it the feeling of being a burden or failure to your family and friends because you cannot participate in life like they do. You cannot attend functions like you want, there are the frequent trips to the doctor and the unwanted trips to the hospital, the copious amounts of medication. You feel like a thousand pound weight that your loved ones must lug around. 

Sometimes, giving up seems like the most logical thing to do. You'll leave behind the pain, the grief, the struggle, the countless number of pill bottles, the feeling of being a burden.

But it's not the answer..!

As someone who is living, struggling, maintaining with a few chronic and incurable diseases, I KNOW that it is not easy. I know the struggle of wanting to give up. I have been hooked up to those IVs, been to those countless doctor visits, had the feeling of being a burden; but giving up is NOT an option! I get upset and angry, but I chose to turn it around into something positive. 

There is SO much here on earth to live for! Friends, family, work--though I know not all are able to do that. There are volunteer opportunities, advocating opportunities--which can be done online if getting out of the house is too difficult at any given time. Stephen Schmidt says, "Life is filled with lots of certainties, one has friends, a lover, children, family, a task and dreams for a better tomorrow. On the other hand, death is always filled with mystery; we die alone, we leave all those earthly pleasures" (http://www.religion-online.org/showarticle.asp?title=307) We have to hope that tomorrow will be a better day, even if just a little bit. 

My hope and prayer is that no Spoonie will turn to suicide as an answer. Turn to Advocacy instead. Turn to creativity. Turn to God! Turn to a friend. I don't have all of the answers, I really don't, but I know that the answer to suicide is always to get help. If you need to talk to someone please go to http://www.suicidepreventionlifeline.org

A Quick Update

I know I've been quiet as of late and I apologize for that. Part of that is due to writer's block (ugh!) and part of that is due to being just so utterly sick. Since having Alfred turned off I have been quite ill and it's been horrible. Very horrible. 

I guess I didn't realize just how much Alfred was doing for me until he was gone.  It's like losing an old friend...you don't realize how much they mean to you until they're no longer around. I find myself continuously vomiting up anything I put into my mouth, whereas, with Alfred on, it was just a few times a week. 

Ugh! I detest Gastroparesis!

I'm venturing into the Land of Juicing to see if that has any effect on my condition before I ask to have Alfred reactived. I don't know if I'm doing myself any harm or favors by doing this, but it's worth a try. So far--only three or so days into it--I'm feeling zero change, but it takes time. 

I'll blog one day about juicing. 

I appreciate the support and prayers that I have received from around the world via Diary of A Gastroparesis Warrior. My hope is to continue spreading awareness about this horrible disease, get funding for it, and just let EVERYONE know that it's not just a simple stomach flu.