The Drive-Thru Of Life

What can I say, this is not the life that I ordered...

When I drove up to the Drive-thru Of Life, this was not the life that I ordered at the speaker. I didn't ask to be feeling sick all of the time. I didn't ask to feel nauseous 24/7, to have no

appetite, to throw up my food. I didn't ask to have doctor visit after doctor visit after doctor visit. I didn't ask to have all of these stupid tests done to me that hurt and are uncomfortable. I didn't ask to hurt, to ache in my bones after spending a day at the park with my puppy. Somewhere along the way there was a breakdown in communication. Somewhere along the way a signal got messed up. Somehow I ended up with someone else's life.

But no, it's my life...

And I have to remind myself that, while it's not the life that I would have chosen for myself, it's the one that was given to me and I need to make the best out of it. Beauty out of pain sounds so cliche, but it's the truth. A person doesn't know who they're going to touch in their journey with Chronic Illness, so you have to chose which Path you're going to take: Positive Life Changer or Life Dampener. It's really up to you.

When you feel sick and hurt all of the time, it's easy to take the road of Life Dampener REALLY easy. You can wallow in self-pity and the pity of others, live in your PJs, only shower

when the funk of life has caught up to you, and call it a day. Or you can be a Positive Life Changer and, despite the pain and struggles of your disease(s), live life as fully and happily as you possibly can (tubes, admissions, tests, and all!).

I know that the struggle of sitting on the fence between those two worlds is real, there are days when I sit VERY precariously on it and want to take a not-so-pretty swan dive

right into Self-Pity-Land. I did not want to be sick like this, I want to eat a hamburger (darn it!), and I want to be able to make plans to go out with friends without worrying about cancelling. This is no life for someone my age! But then I take a step back into reality. Counting the blessings and the positives makes the negatives of my life a little less important...Did you see how awesome the clouds made the sunset tonight?!

Yes, this is not the life that I ordered or would have remotely imagined for myself. I would not wish it upon my worst enemy. But to ease the struggles and the pains that I DO have to experience in this life that has been bestowed upon me, I have chosen to be (hopefully) a Positive Life Changer. I hope that you can find it within yourself to do the same.

Spoonie Wars...It's Not a Competition!

Everything in life has become a competition. People find a way to one-up each other in just about every facet of life:: I'm smarter than you...I have a better car than you...I can play

that sport better than you...I have more possessions (of some kind) than you. But when it comes to chronic illness(es) and comparing and one-upping each other, that's just...sad. When people with chronic illness(es) are saying:: I have more illnesses than you...worse illnesses than you...worse symptoms than you...worse treatments than you...

That's just horrible.

Often we list our illness(es) in an effort to connect with one another, to share experiences and advice; but in doing this it can become a competition in seeing who has the most illnesses and who has the worst symptoms and who has the worst treatments. Why does being SICK have to be a competition? Somehow it turns into—not always, but sometimes—a contest to see who has the most illnesses (from the most petty to the most severe), to see who has the worst symptoms (when people share the same disease), to

see who's experienced the worst treatments, who's seen the most whackado doctors (though those can be very funny stories), and the list goes on. I am ALL for advocacy, for educating, for comparing stories, but when it comes to people telling me their situation is worse than mine...lets not even go there. We are not here to one-up, to compete, to garner sympathy from those around us (because isn't that what we always say?). We are there to be a Community. And a Community sticks together.

The Chronic Illness Community...The Spoonie Community, needs to be one that sticks together, not one that excludes or becomes divided due to differences. We are bonded in a sisterhood and brotherhood that NONE of us wanted to be in,

but it is one that we are in nonetheless. America is a “melting pot”, so is the Spoonie Community; therefore, we should accept everyone for their variances, their opinions, their experiences without trying to put each other down. We need to remain encouraging, uplifting, and positive for each other. When we see another in our midst who is suffering, offer them love and assistance. Don't try to belittle another person's experiences compared to yours...we're all suffering in our own way.

We're all (roundabout-ly) in this together, so lets stay that way.