Age and Chronic Illness

Chronic illness hit me like a tons of bricks just as I was turning 30...literally. It was within days of my 30^th birthday that the migraines, vertigo, and the symptoms of

Gastroparesis hit. Most people that I speak to say “you're awfully young to be experiencing all of these health problems”. I would have to say that I wholeheartedly agree with them; however, I would agree with them whether I was 20 years old or 65 years old! There is no “perfect age” to be saddled with a chronic illness.

There is this thought amongst the majority of people—and that's conjecture on my part—that chronic illness, particularly serious ones, are things that are supposed to only happen to the elderly. It's almost like Chronic Illness is like getting your license, like a morbid milestone of life. It's one that I will GLADLY pass up. Senior citizens have lived long lives, they've experienced things; therefore, the natural progression is then to have illness to occur. It sounds horribly morbid, but, I think that's how most people think life is SUPPOSED to work, whether we say it out loud or not. Sadly, Chronic Illness has no prescribed age that it begins with.

It is estimated that 133 million Americans has a chronic illness, sixty percent of which are between the ages of 18 and 64. These are not including people with cancer, mental illness, or diabetes. My particular disease, Gastroparesis, has an average onset of 34 years of age—though it can occur at any age. I also suffer from chronic migraines. Migraines are usually experienced, originally, in adolescence first and then carried on into adult life; and women have a greater risk of experiencing migraines than men.

Chronic illness has no age discrimination...

Chronic illness will touch your life when it wants to. It pays no mind to your age, to your plans for your life, or how much you will it to go away; it just comes in like a thief and alters your thoughts about everything. It rearranges your thoughts about yourself (you're stronger than you realize, trust me), your thoughts about your friends, your thoughts about your future, the healthcare system, everything! There will be times when you become overwhelmed and want to give up, but you can't! There will be times when you become frustrated with your doctors and the healthcare system and want to throw in the towel, but you can't! There will be MANY times that you hear—well intentioned, but ignorant—statements from friends and family that make you want to scream, but you have to just soldier on.

Advocacy is key in the case of Invisible Chronic Illness(es). Help people understand what it's like living in your shoes...take away the mystic...the stigma...help give your illness a voice! The younger generation can use their tech savvy-ness to their advantage and spread awareness for the disease(s) that they have. Instead of being “whoa as me” turn it into “support me”! Turn peoples' pity into a sense of pride in all that you've accomplished despite not feeling well!

Chronic Illness and Suicide...It's NOT the Answer!

It seems that suicide has touched the fringes of my life a lot recently. And by the fringes, I mean, The Fringes. It's been friends of my friends, friends of my friends through the Internet. Always people I don't know directly. But it still effects me and I still have this innate desire in me for wanting to help those TRULY effected, to cope with the passing of their friend. But it's difficult. 

I know that it's not uncommon for suicide to enter into the Chronic Illness Community. According to The Truth About Suicides, 10% of suicides that occur in Britain are a result of having a chronic illness. 

( http://gu.com/p/3xcmx/sbl) We are in tremendous amounts of physical pain, we experience mental illness, there are various physical struggles that we experience:: chronic vomiting, chronic nausea, fatigue, joint dislocations, fainting spells, dizziness, and the list goes on. Add onto it the feeling of being a burden or failure to your family and friends because you cannot participate in life like they do. You cannot attend functions like you want, there are the frequent trips to the doctor and the unwanted trips to the hospital, the copious amounts of medication. You feel like a thousand pound weight that your loved ones must lug around. 

Sometimes, giving up seems like the most logical thing to do. You'll leave behind the pain, the grief, the struggle, the countless number of pill bottles, the feeling of being a burden.

But it's not the answer..!

As someone who is living, struggling, maintaining with a few chronic and incurable diseases, I KNOW that it is not easy. I know the struggle of wanting to give up. I have been hooked up to those IVs, been to those countless doctor visits, had the feeling of being a burden; but giving up is NOT an option! I get upset and angry, but I chose to turn it around into something positive. 

There is SO much here on earth to live for! Friends, family, work--though I know not all are able to do that. There are volunteer opportunities, advocating opportunities--which can be done online if getting out of the house is too difficult at any given time. Stephen Schmidt says, "Life is filled with lots of certainties, one has friends, a lover, children, family, a task and dreams for a better tomorrow. On the other hand, death is always filled with mystery; we die alone, we leave all those earthly pleasures" (http://www.religion-online.org/showarticle.asp?title=307) We have to hope that tomorrow will be a better day, even if just a little bit. 

My hope and prayer is that no Spoonie will turn to suicide as an answer. Turn to Advocacy instead. Turn to creativity. Turn to God! Turn to a friend. I don't have all of the answers, I really don't, but I know that the answer to suicide is always to get help. If you need to talk to someone please go to http://www.suicidepreventionlifeline.org

A Quick Update

I know I've been quiet as of late and I apologize for that. Part of that is due to writer's block (ugh!) and part of that is due to being just so utterly sick. Since having Alfred turned off I have been quite ill and it's been horrible. Very horrible. 

I guess I didn't realize just how much Alfred was doing for me until he was gone.  It's like losing an old friend...you don't realize how much they mean to you until they're no longer around. I find myself continuously vomiting up anything I put into my mouth, whereas, with Alfred on, it was just a few times a week. 

Ugh! I detest Gastroparesis!

I'm venturing into the Land of Juicing to see if that has any effect on my condition before I ask to have Alfred reactived. I don't know if I'm doing myself any harm or favors by doing this, but it's worth a try. So far--only three or so days into it--I'm feeling zero change, but it takes time. 

I'll blog one day about juicing. 

I appreciate the support and prayers that I have received from around the world via Diary of A Gastroparesis Warrior. My hope is to continue spreading awareness about this horrible disease, get funding for it, and just let EVERYONE know that it's not just a simple stomach flu.