I went to the doctor this morning--an early Christmas present to myself--because I've been experiencing the worst joint and muscle pains known to man. There have been mornings where I didn't know if I would be able to get out of bed. Every possible joint in my body, including the itty-bitty ones in my toes and fingers hurt. It's quite flabbergasting.
This past weekend was the last straw.
I had a photoshoot with my dog at a nearby train museum and I had a hard time keeping up. By the end of the afternoon I had such a hard time coping with the pain that I wanted to cry. But that's life sometimes, right?
Not with this pain. It feels like someone is SHOVING their thumbs into my joint sockets and twisting. It feels like an elephant is standing on my femur. It feels like my blood has been replaced with lava from a volcano. It feels like my hands and feet are on fire. It's inhumane.
The doctor diagnosed me as having fibromyalgia this morning. Yay, one more diagnosis. One more incurable disease. One more disease whose only treatment are pills that I cannot really take because of my gastroparesis.
Being chronically ill...it sucks. Really badly.
Now, with this new diagnosis of fibromyalgia I hurt, all of the time, which sucks because I am a touchy feely person. I love to hug people. I love getting hugs. But it hurts. I don't want people to stop and I don't want to stop hugging people.
The chronic illness life...it changes you.
