Testing...Testing...Testing...

Today I had my fourth...yes, FOURTH...Gastric Emptying Study done. If you've never had one, here's how it goes: 

Step 1: Eat either an egg salad sandwich or oatmeal (Today I was given oatmeal, which is a first for me)
Step 2: Take an X-ray of your belly
Step 3: Wait an hour in the waiting room
Step 4: Take an X-Ray of your belly

Step 5: Wait an hour in the waiting room
Step 6: Take an X-ray of your belly
Step 7: Wait 2 hours in the waiting room or go shopping (I chose to wait because I had a prime parking spot)
Step 8: Take an x-ray of your belly

Today, at Step 8, they didn't take the x-ray because I still had food in my belly. Oatmeal from 9:45am was still in my tummy at 1:45pm. So they had my go sit and twiddle my thumbs--I'm an excellent thumb twiddler--until shortly after 2pm. They went ahead and took the x-ray, but I could see on the

imaging screen that my stomach was still glowing. I don't know if the technician just said internally "forget it!" and went ahead and took the x-ray because by this time it had been 4 1/2 hours or if my stomach had emptied and I was seeing residual glow. I'm no radiologist. But the technician had said that she wouldn't be surprised if it comes back abnormal.

Well, duh! For almost 6 years now my diagnosis has been (some severity) of Gastroparesis.

I don't know about other Gastroparesis Warriors,  but every time I take that test a couple of things run through my mind. The first thing is: Dangit, why do I have to take this test again?! The second is: What if it comes back normal? Or not

as severe as I FEEL like it is? Instantly you feel as though your family, your friends, your doctors are not going to believe a THING you've been telling them! That's how I felt today! It's a horrible feeling!

Of course you don't WISH or HOPE to be super sick, you just want it to match up with what you're telling everyone. And of course you don't WISH or HOPE for drastic interventional measures to be taken to help you improve your life, but when eating 4-5 bites of oatmeal makes you feel sick to your stomach and you burp it up for hours, all you want to do it avoid food!

Wednesday August 5th brings yet another test, an endoscopy--more fun!--and hopefully more answers or confirmation for the new GI. Having Gastroparesis is NO joke. It is not a weight loss program to sign up for. A stomachache to take lightly. Something I am making up in my mind. It is VERY real. I would not wish this life on my worst enemy (if I even had an enemy).