Keep Your Voice

Before I had this blog, Diary of A Gastroparesis Warrior, I had another blog called Christine's Dizzy Life (http://christinesdizzylife.blogspot.com/?m=1). It chronicles what life was like going through the unknown--at that time I was still searching for ANY kind of diagnosis. I suffered greatly from vomiting, nausea, dizziness, migraines, insomnia, change in eyesight...it was horrible--and still is, don't get me wrong. I wasn't working or driving and had to rely on my mother to bathe me. Due to insomnia (or change in my sleeping pattern, who knows) I often wrote my blog in the middle of the night--2am-4am. After I posted my blog, I would put the link up on Facebook and send it in some emails to friends and family, as I do now. 

One day I was approached by someone I thought was my friend, someone who I knew read my blog via my links on Facebook, she had driven me to appointments, and just been there for me in general, and she said "when people ask you how you're doing, just tell them you're doing fine, that you're doing good because you don't want to bring them down." I just politely nodded and vowed silently to not speak of my illness ever again. I decided then not to write me blog any longer because, obviously, I was "bringing people down" with it. As a consequence--though I don't know "consequence" is the right word--people thougt I had gotten better. I had not. Granted, I had worked my way from a wheelchair to a walker to a cane to walking unassisted, but I was not altogether better. But I kept that to myself for a VERY long time. 

Do I hate the person that said that to me? No. I'm sad and mad that I allowed someone who doesn't understand to quiet my voice. Don't let anyone, especially someone who doesn't understand your situation, quiet your voice. Advocacy, awareness, and a cure will not happen if you do not use your voice! Should you be whiny or obnoxious about it? Not if you can avoid it. It's not in my personality to be that way, that's why I write the way I do--how I talk--but don't take away the truth of your situation either. 

I started Diary of A Gastroparesis Warrior as a means to get back to something I love--writing--and to pay homage to Christine's Dizzy Life. But a friend also encouraged me to tell my story, the sad stories--with my funny take on it--that come along with having Gastroparesis and how to get through them with a smile on your face. I should never have given up Christine's Dizzy Life because of someone's opinion. Don't let anyone quiet your voice!